Judson in the arms of Jesus

It is with great sadness that I give you the words from Judson's CaringBridge site:

Dear friends and family...

We ushered Judson into the arms of Jesus around 11:30 am this morning.

We do not grieve as those without hope.

In His Loving Embrace,Christina and Drake

URGENT Prayer for Jud

Family & Friends


I am coming to you tonight, not for me, but on behalf of a very precious little boy. I have mentioned him to you before. But tonight I come to you with urgency. Please take a few moments to get to know him and his fight with Krabbe disease. He seems to physically be near the end...maybe only a day or two. He needs your prayers.

Please go to his website: www.caringbridge.org/visit/judson

Read about his family and the journey they have been on.


And most importantly, join in with me in holding him before the Throne. God has shown me He truly is able to heal. Let us pray for a miracle in Jud's little body.
Much love and gratitude

Facing Giants (women's retreat)

David faced a giant & won the battle because he simply trusted God. But when we face our ‘giants’ we find it much easier to be absorb in self pity and we simply forget about the whole picture. The ‘giants’ I have faced these past 9 months have been enough to overwhelm & suffocate anyone. How have I made it? How have I survived these moments?

Since Dec. 29th I have been diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer(it had spread to many other parts of my body), had a baby, gone through chemo, my 6 year old was hospitalized & diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, my baby the same day was hospitalized with a rare growth in his throat and needed surgery, a blood clot was in half my arm for 2 months, a lesion was found on my brain, had radiation surgery done by Gamma Knife to my brain (4 screws attach a ‘halo’ to my head), & finally, a bilateral mastectomy was performed just 3 weeks ago.

Along side all my ‘giants’ have been miracles to match. My children were, literally, saved from death numerous times & I am cancer free! We need to be reminded to take off Satan’s binoculars and see the whole picture. He has a way of putting binoculars on us so all we focus on is our situation. He wants us to forget about the bigger picture…the whole picture. His goal is to take God’s promises from us and make it seem as if the circumstances are out of our control. Satan loves to magnify the negative.

We are undeserving, but God loves us enough to carry us through any situation. Satan may bring on these terrible times, but it is crucial to listen to the Voice of Truth. Our purpose is only to worship and honor Him. What better time to do it than during these times of tribulation. All the other stuff is just chaos that Satan tries to trap us with. God wants to be glorified in it ALL. It’s not easy, but it is simple. Grab a hold of the true path. I did and look at what God has done so far. David did and look what happened.

Please pray for Judson

Looking from the outside in to this world we are now in has got to be so, so difficult for our loved ones. So when I am looking in to a world of a little boy who is suffering so greatly, I can hardly bear it.

Judson Levasheff is a 2 year old boy who is enduring great suffering as he progresses through Krabbe Disease. It is a rare, genetic, incurable leukodystrophy. He is slowly losing all functions of every part of his body.

I can't even imagine what his parents are going through. Please pray. Pray for Jud that a miracle of physical healing may touch his body. Pray for endurance for his family as they watch this awful disease take from their son little by little. Pray for Jessie, his sister, to continue to smile and bring joy into their home. Please just pray...

www.caringbridge.org/visit/judson (please feel free to visit their site and let them know you are praying.)

update 7/7/07

Hello to All

I have learned to accept that this time in my life is all about the unexpected. I don't think I am supposed to get too comfortable in any circumstance or moment.

My surgery is, for the moment, on hold. I was going to the doctor every 3 or 4 days to get my blood work done. In the beginning I was way too thin. Now I cannot seem to get passed being to 'thick'...where I will clot too much. How can this be? Well, remember, I was giving my shots right before I was getting tested. Which means that the drugs in the shots were doing the job. But the one I am taking orally now is not. I seem to be pretty resistant. The plan was to wait it out until I see my doctor on the 27th.......get things under control with my clot.....and then schedule surgery.

Things are a little different now.

Thursday started out rough for me. It was the day the my mom had to go back home to Hawaii. And right before she left, I got a call from my doc with the results from the MRI of the Brain....which I took on Tuesday. Unfortunately, there is a small area of cancer (smaller than a dime) on the right side. I don't know much more than that on the technical side of it. I will be meeting with a new doc on Thursday to have her explain more to me. What I do know is
this.....

My oncologist repeatedly told me not to look at this as a set back or to be worried about this. He feels this was probably there from the beginning...as the brain seems to have an 'umbrella' over it and chemo doesn't reach it. He wants me to go in for a procedure called a Gamma Knife. It is radiation that will help to ride me of this cancerous area. I'm still asking questions and learning right now as to all the details of this whole thing.

I went on Friday for my 2nd Herceptin treatment. It went so well. I had no reactions and was not tired like I have been from the Benedryl they give....so I was able to come home and have energy to enjoy the kids. I also talked with my doctor again and he wants to probable take out the port on my arm, which will help get rid of the blood clot once and for all. He is saying we will do this since I will have to stop the blood thinning medicine in order to do the Gamma Knife anyway, along with the slow progress I am making with the medicine and the fact that they have such a hard time accessing my port.

So I am looking at the next 2 weeks holding these 2 procedures, removing my port & the Gamma Knife. I will also be going in for an MRI of the Breast on Friday. (As long as this one comes back clear there is no need to rush my surgery.) I am thankful that I have some friends coming in from out of town to visit....little did they know that they would get to be apart of all the excitement:)

Please continue to pray for me and my family. We are adjusting to being a family of 5 again. Although we are enjoying that aspect of it, having my mom here for so long seems to have us longing for her. She did such a great job of taking care of all of us. The kids are missing her and cannot wait for her to come back. And Roy & I REALLY think of her in the middle of the night....she was soooo good at getting up with the baby:) Now we're playing solo and feeling the repercussions of being so spoiled:)

Please pray specifically for just the normal day to day. As I mentioned before, I am in constant pain. And my biggest concern is my children......I want their days to be as normal as possible. They've had to go out of their comfort zones a whole lot in these past few months....and they are still trooping along. Pray that the pain I have will just become a norm for me, something I can function with so life can be enjoyable for them.

And very quickly I wanted to clarify something, as many have questioned me and my decision for surgery. Some think that having this surgery is a choice...for me it is pretty much a closed subject. Yes, I truly believe that I was healed of the cancer. But medically it has been explained that the surgery is a precautionary measure for the doctors to check out what could still be hiding inside of me, along with enabling me to knock down the chances of it returning by a considerable percentage. If it's gonna come back, it will most likely start out in the area that originated. Why is it a closed subject for me?...simple....I have five reasons--Roy, Tylor, Tala, Torryn & Takai.

I will not lie to you, the news this week did hit my like a ton of bricks. But after having some time to think and pray over this and everything else involved, it seems as if I needed all this to lift my spirits and remind me who really is in control. Continue to pray...but know that I am very encouraged by His unfailing grace for my life and comforted that He does hold me tenderly in His hands....I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

" So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIS UNFOLDING GRACE. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message (MSG)

Love, Shannon

update 7/2/07

Hello to all

I come to you tonight knowing that as my mom leaves on Thursday my time will be much more limited to communicating with so many of you. I feel such a need to reach out and ask for your help in a very important area. My last email to you probably did not go without you noticing the stress in my heart right now. I am trying to grab on to His strength every moment. Last week I read something that is so simple but, yet, so hard for us do grasp sometimes. I read, " Isn't it amazing that we can call upon the creator of the universe and everything in it
at anytime. He is with us immediately." How awesome is that?! But yet in my tired and weary body I tend to forget about this simple truth and how easy it is to just do this and get the strength I need. This is where you all come in.....

So many of you have expressed to me that you would love to be closer, or have more time, or etc...just so you could help me and my family. Well, I know how you can help. Of course I still need you to be my strong prayer warriors. I
never take for granted how you have all played an intricate part in God's plan for my healing. But now as I go into another part of this journey, I am already afraid of how tired I will become, how sore I will be from all the pain, how
weary I will be from not having too much time to nurture my own soul, and how tired I will be from lack of sleep..........so the challenge I put before you is this....

feed me...feed my soul...help grow me. How can you do this for me? Simple...send me scriptures that God lays on your heart to share with me, tell me of what you learned in church, share the lyrics to a song that has touched
you lately, etc. Do you get where I am going with this?:) I so enjoy the uplifting emails that you all already send my way. I just want to make sure you know how much they mean and that I believe they will be a huge part in my
spirits being held up during these next few months.

A few months ago I reached out to just a chosen few to pray for me and my family. I come to you again with all this tonight. As I put each of you into this email, it just brought tears of joy to know that I have so many along side
of me helping to fight the spiritual battle that has accompanied the physical one. You are all so important to this journey. It is by no mistake that we are connected. Please be encouraged.

As I said, my time is about to get much more limited. But I so love hearing your encouragement....AND for you to let me know what is going on in your lives as well. I would love to be praying for you and the needs that you have.

My spirits are low right now...but, I still am so blessed that God has done so much. The creator of the universe saw fit to rescue me from disease....He saw fit to rescue my children too. What has He done for you lately? I would love to
know.

Thank you all for being a part of my story, of my life. You mean so much.

Shannon

update 6/18/07

Hello to All

This is just a note to let you know what has been going on with me and my surgery. For the past 2 weeks I have gone in to my oncologist 2x a week to get a blood draw. This showed what my counts were. The first one showed that I was
to high ---which means I would bleed too much for surgery. The last couple showed that I was too low --- which means I would clot too much for surgery. My surgeon wants me in a certain range before he will perform the surgery. I
appreciate how cautious he is with my well being. Every time I go in my doc adjust my meds in hopes that it will help with my count as well as my clot. I go again on Tuesday to see where it's at.

The down side to all of this is that my mom will be leaving July 5th. These plans were made when we thought I would have been recuperating already. Now we are looking at the possibility of me not even having the surgery until she is gone.

Who will be with my kids while I'm in the hospital?
Who will be with me in the hospital?
Who will take care of all of me when I get out?
Who will take care of the kids?
How will I manage when I will not be able to lift anything (including Takai) for weeks?
Whose gonna cook?
Whose gonna clean?

These are just a few of the many questions I ask myself everyday. As Roy can only do so much and can only be in one place at a time. I am grateful that Roy is able to take time off of work...but we financially can't spare him to do much
of this. Therefore, we feel pushed into a corner and don't know how to get out of this one.....I have to go for my surgery, the kids need to be taken care of, Roy needs to go to work, etc.

So please, keep us in prayer as we try to figure all of this out. I won't try to hide the truth that I am just a little stressed by all this. On top of all that, I have not gone without side effects from my drugs. I can hide most of this from my kids....but what I can't do is take for granted that this journey is anywhere near over....I still need to take care of myself. I am so thankful that I have not been extremely sick like others that I know. But it does not take away from the side effects that I do have. I am constantly tired in a way that I have never felt, I do have many aches and much pain most of the time, I am having allergic reactions and along with all this I still have the clot in my arm that does come with some pain and limitations.

Uggh...can you tell it's just been one of those days?! My spirits are low right now. But I do want to end on a positive not. Tonight, just before going to bed, I was reading and was reminded that no matter what is going on in my life I
need to take just one minute to remember what blessings and miracles I have been given. Wow...what a slap in my face. Here I am complaining when I have so much to be thankful for. Yes, I know that you think I have every right to complain given the circumstances.....but NO, I do not. We were not promised a easy life....just one that He would walk hand in hand with us. That alone should be enough....yet He saw fit to carry me through all of this with a multitude of blessings and miracles. I could write a book on just what has been given and done for me and my family....and I have promised to let you in on some of these blessings....but for tonight I will tell of just two.

The first and probably one that is dearest to my heart is how blessed we have been to have my mom here with us. There truly are no words to express what my heart feels. She was here in moments and stayed for months....I have been able to leave for doctor's appointments with peace that my children are being cared for and loved. I have been able to sleep at night and know that my baby was not forgotten when he awoke. I have been able to successfully go through this part of the journey knowing that my mommy was by my side:) How do you thank someone for given up their life without hesitation so you can have yours?!

THANK YOU MOM! I LOVE YOU!

The next blessing came about a month into all of this...but so special as it comes from my 10 year old niece who wrote the following for a school assignment all on her own.

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MY HERO

POOF! In one minute something happened to my hero. She got BREAST CANCER. It is not a very happy thing. It's actually a very sad thing to have. My hero is my Auntie Shannon. She is very helpful in these ways. My Auntie is friendly. So you now how people get mad and yell, but she will never yell at me and she is always trustworthy. She is very brave when it comes to her cancer. She is also brave when she has to fight the cancer.

She always lets me come to her house, but now that she has cancer I am contagious because she cannot get sick or it will be a lot harder to fight and she would have to go to the hospital to fight it. A little thing is a BIG BIG thing for her because she has cancer. It will take her a very long time to get better but right now she is doing very good. She is very nice to kids because she used to be a teacher a long time ago. I wasn't even born yet. She is also my hero because she can always help me, but now that she has breast cancer I can't come to her house because she cannot get sick or she will have to go to the hospital.

THAT IS MY HERO, SHE IS VERY SICK, I LOVE HER!!!!
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It's probably the most humbling thing I have ever been called. I sit here after months of reading this over and over again and I still have tears in my eyes and a very humbled heart. This is something that I will treasure for all my days. Thank you, Kailynn!!!

May all of you have a peaceful Sunday and a wonderful week. I will keep you informed to the next step in our home.

My love to you all
Shannon

update 6/11/07

Hi to all!!

Leave it to me to bring more excitement to the table:)

Up until 3:30 this afternoon, we were all ready for surgery tomorrow. After talking with my surgeon things have changed. My surgery is now postponed. The issue of the blood clot in my arm has him not wanting to have it with the fear of things going into my lungs or heart. (Thankfully I have a wise Doc.) He wants the clot gone before he will perform the surgery. Therefore, tomorrow will probably be a day of ultrasounds and deciding if the port needs to come out. I am kinda up in the air as to what comes next. I will keep you all informed as it comes.

Please keep on praying for my health. I'm off my bone medicine (because of the surgery) so I have some pain now. My joints are aching and I have pain in my back that's here to stay. My doctor said that since the cancer was in other places...even though the cancer's gone, the damage has been done. So the pain in my back is mostly from the damage to my spine. We are trying different drugs to see what will work, and yet, still enable me to function on a daily basis. The pain is pretty intense at times, but I do want to be able to live my life as normal as possible for my kids sake.

Thank you to all of you. I appreciate the calls, cards & emails so much. There are some 'yuck' days. And they really do uplift me as well as remind me how blessed I am to have so many on my side.

Love to you all
Shannon

update 6/4/07

Hello Family & Friends

It was on my list to send out an update tonight and up until today I only had surgery details to fill you all in on. But now I have more excitement to share than I planned.

For the past few weeks my right arm (the one with my port) has been hurting off and on. So last week Friday when I saw my oncologist, we arranged for me to go have an ultrasound done today. Well, I bummed to say that I do have a blood clot in that arm. It goes from my neck down to my elbow. Yes...it's pretty big, but my doctor put me on meds for it right away. I am, again, having to have shots twice a day. Pray for me, as Roy already gave me one and it was
extremely painful. But with my daughter getting up to 4 shots a day, everyday....how can I complain. She really is the bravest person I know:)

My surgery is next Tuesday. My surgeon will check to see if the medicine did it's job to remove the clot. If not, then they will remove my port while I'm there. Beings that this is the second time that this has happened....I personally think it's wise. The only draw back is that I will have to get stuck for an IV every time I go in from now on...every three weeks. And for those of you who don't know this about me, I'm a VERY hard stick (that means my veins are hard to get) So usually, I have to get poked numerous times. Not the funnest thing!


I go in at 6:45am on Tuesday morn and the surgery is scheduled for 9:00. I am told that it will be 3 hours and that me recovery should only be one night in the hospital. I actually asked for more time, so my doctor got me an extra
night. We felt it wise for me to be there as long as possible for healing away from the kids trying to bounce all over mommy. For those of you wondering if you should call...do what you feel led to do. LeeAnn has said that she will be
sending out an update that night to let you all know about the day and how I am doing. My mom will be home with the kids and Roy will be sleeping uncomfortably at the hospital with me:)

I will go home with 2 pain pumps which are to be removed the next week. I think right now the thing I am most anxious about is the pain involved. But as I look to this event, along with the shots....I can only take it all in stride and be so grateful that I get to face all this knowing that God has a plan. And His are so much better than mine.

As always I have to end with thanking all of you for so much. The many blessings, some so creative, others just plain thoughtful and don't forget the ones that are simply needed....THANK YOU is never enough....may I learn from
your example and bless someone else the way each of you has blessed me and my family. One day soon I will salvage some time to write down for you some of these wonderful blessings.

Love
Shannon

update 5/11/07

Hi Everyone

I met with my oncologist this week and got some questions answered. My scans are as clear as he first told me. His first words to me were, "It's amazing!" As we talked I began to understand why I still need to do surgery, more chemo
and possibly radiation.

He explained that, although the PET Scan came back all clear, there could be hidden cancer cells. They could be dead but there is the possibility of them laying dormant. This is why surgery is important. They will look at everything
that comes back after surgery to see what there is. This will determine if radiation is necessary. Then the plan is for me to be on this 'super' drug called Herceptin for at least a year. If anything is left in me, Herceptin is the drug that would hopefully get rid of it.

I see my surgeon on Monday to discuss everything with him. I will continue to update you as to the excitement on the Pinkard home front.

As always, I have to thank you for your continued prayers and support. The blessings continue to come and I continue to stand amazed by all of it. May you be blessed far and beyond what you could even dream to ask Him for...it's possible.

Love to you all
Shannon