Messy Arguments

This week should have been about missing my mom and all the new stuff going on with my heart. But no, that was not the case. Last Friday there was a sudden change at Tala's school. Her teacher resigned and there was an abrupt need for my daughter to adjust, yet again, to major change in her life. The piece of my heart that is reserved just for her seemed to break into a million pieces as she asked my why was everyone leaving her? First, Grandma & and now my teacher.

Now people, I do know that is an 8 year talking...through emotions. But still, break my heart.


Monday comes and in the midst of preparing for my appointment with the cardiologist...a dear friend seems to have made the decision that our friendship is just not beneficial to her anymore. This friendship is a deep part of me.


The week progresses with these two incidences at the forefront of my mind and heart. Arguments, disagreements, fighting, communication, trust, discernment, consequences are just a few of the things that I was facing during my quiet moments. As I cried out to God, trying to figure out all the 'details' on both accounts...He revealed His very heart on the matter.
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Messy Arguments… “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17:14


Messy arguments are the result of fighting in the flesh. It is relational suicide and can cause wounds that won’t easily be forgotten. Anger is the primary driver behind messy arguments. Hard feelings are unable to get past not being heard, or not getting its way. For productive discussions over disagreements, level heads must prevail.


Spirit-filled followers of Jesus have the capacity to not only fight fair, but disagree respectfully while seeking to understand the others’ point of view. If your mind is already made up, then there is little possibility for positive relational results. Your friendship does not have to be sacrificed to make a point. In fact, people grow deeper in love and respect when they first bring their disagreements to the Lord, and let Him lead their lives.


Ask, ‘What does God think?’ Because you do not argue with the Almighty, “Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker…” (Isaiah 45:9). Bickering is marginalized when two people review God’s game plan for disagreements (Matthew 18:15-17).


Lastly, once you make your point clearly, concisely and maturely you can trust the Lord and the responsible parties to do the right thing. Everyone is accountable, so the actions sown will reap consequences, good or bad. Therefore prayerfully ask, ‘Am I full of grace and truth in my communications?’ ‘Do I honor others, especially those with whom I disagree?’ A pure heart prevents messy arguments. “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1)
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As I opened up my devotion today...that is what God gave me. I felt myself breathe easier knowing exactly what I am to do. What I am called to do. It doesn't matter what anyone else's choices or actions are. I am not to resort to the gossip, I am not to resort to the arguing, I am not to resort to the bitterness. I am called to honor others and keep my heart pure so that grace can prevail to allow Him to shine through.

So, as I choose to take the necessary actions to step out of these 'messy arguments'...I look forward to seeing what next week will bring. And between you & me, I sure hope it's less full of the unexpected. :)