My world somewhat came to a abrupt halt the day my Mom passed away. The time spent at home (Maui) brought about a great start to the grieving process that we were all undeniably having to walk. I was overloaded by the love & aloha that was shown to me and my entire family. Beyond the acts of unselfish generosity to actually fly so many of us home...even the littlest of things were thought of. There really will never be a way to express fully how each person & each 'act' made & continues to make our healing just a little bit easier. Because it's all so overwhelming during a time of mourning, the thank you card, thank you calls, etc....just seem to be out of our reach of energy & emotions right now. In time for sure. But for now I think it truly is one of those 'pay if forward' type of things.
I've been home(Boulder City) now for close to 2 months now. The reality of what has happened has hit me full force. My sister & I are in the same town. A couple of streets away from one another. That helps tremendously. But the separation from our whole family is tough. Anyone from Hawaii knows that things are done different there. Aloha. It's more than just a way to say hello or goodbye. It's a lifestyle. It 'surrounds' you. And now that I'm back here, I'm somewhat lost without it.
I have a call every morning. I say hello. And I'm greeted with, 'GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!'. Every single day, folks. Someone loves me enough to call everyday to make sure I know that they know that it's not any easier yet. And to top that off...I can think of at least 5 other friends that reach out many times throughout the week. And so many others that have taken time to let me know that they continue to care. I am loved. I am blessed. And I know I am fortunate.
How does one say thank you to people who make conscious choices to hold you up when you can't even seem to find your footing to stand?! How does one say thank you to individuals who selfishly give and give of themselves as you go through one trial after another? How does one day thank you to people who never think of giving up on you? How does one say thank you to friends that consider it a privilege to listen to me 'whine', spend time with my kids, or most honoring...a privilege to know me & be a part of my life? My messy life.
Ahhh, all I can say is that my God is good. All the time. He is good in the times of trials & tribulations that I am in. He is good in my life. He is good in my grief. He is good even in my suffering. He is good even when He takes away. He. Is. Good.
Really!
I am so thankful. Even in the knowledge that this 'season' is not going to end soon. I am. There is no way to understand the grief that follows losing someone unless you've been there. I never knew. But here I stand in the midst of it. And I want to tell you that one can be thankful and have full knowledge of one's blessings as pain rips through your heart. The sun does still shine.
The Son shines.
And only because my God is good.
~This is the view from my Dad's new home. Amazing isn't it. Coincidence that it allows him & any of us to see the ocean every time we need to. I think not. Even to supply us moments 'with my Mom' on a daily basis. (For those of you who don't know...My mom chose to have her ashes scattered in the water 's of Maui, rather than be buried) God really IS good all the time. Can you see the sun shining? How's about the Son? Cause He's shining all around us.~
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