I'm somewhat confused as to how I am supposed to answer the question...How are you?
In our society we ask that question to the majority of people we talk with during the day. The cashier, the teacher, the nurse, the attendant...it has become part of the casual greeting we exchange upon seeing someone....'Hi, how are you?'
So here I am caught walking a line of telling the truth, being tactful & making someone feel comfortable. Should I say that life sucks and I struggle pretty much every minute of the day with the hand I've been dealt? Maybe just responding with the expected, "I'm fine" is more acceptable. But acceptable to who. If we ask this question shouldn't we care about more than just the answer? Shouldn't we care about the person who is answering?! The person we are asking?!
Because I'm struggling so much and because I try to be tactful, more times than not, I tend to just reply with a "I'm fine" or "I'm good". I'm realizing as I sink into a deeper abyss of loneliness & heartache that I'm doing it even with those close to me.
It's just easier.
Easier than facing it all head on. Easier than talking about it. Easier than having the 'wrong', or is it 'right'?, question asked. Easier for fear that the question, 'How are you?' is being asked just for the heck of it. Easier than facing rejection.
With such extremes going on in my life, I have come to accept that there will be rejection. So many have chosen to walk away because of these extremes being too extreme. I get it. Totally. It really is a lot to take in. I'm actually in full swing of trying to come to grips with this type of rejection. So when you tie the two together -'how are you?' & rejection - it really is hard for someone in my position to even know where to begin to understand how to answer that question. I'm not always sure.
Soooooo. If you're reading this. And you're one who asks me....just tenderly let me know how you want my answer to lean.
The standard answer or honest one.
But the biggest lesson beyond all of that is that being asked is truly important for survival. Not being asked at all is the highest form of rejection. Well, at least it is in my book right now. So thank you to each of you who has taken time to ask. To know that you care deeply is what carries me at times.
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