By Way of the Angels

I opened up a book that I share with a few friends of mine. A book about friendship....

It's been awhile since I opened it. Needless to say I was taken aback when the chapter I left off reading was, WIND BENEATH MY WINGS: Celebrating Our Mothers

I literally sucked in my breathe as the tears were already flowing down my cheeks. I wondered if I had the strength at that very moment. It's one thing to miss her constantly, but another to actually sit in quiet and face her being gone head on. Most times I 'walk' away from those moments cause they are still so new and it is all so very raw. The pain is truly unbearable.

But I ventured forth. Here is the first thing that I read...

By Way of the Angels

Caroline Honn

***

She knows.

Our love is more

than bear hugs & Hallmark cards,

more than plane tickets & books

& homemade jams

all packed together on the same day

in one giant priority mail box.

She knows we love

more than words, more than tears,

more than time.

It is so through her love for us~

unbound, timeless,

too large for life itself to comprehend

but through the God who made us.

She knows we love her big;

and the word goodbye wasn't an option~

not while there were loved ones to visit

and little doll clothes to make,

not while there was still "stuff" to talk about.

She's in and out of our consciousness,

in and out of our breath as we absorb

the realization that she's in our hearts

now more profoundly than ever.

Knowing this will need to be enough

until we meet again

to celebrate forever.

By way of the angels~we love her big.

***

The reality of what has happened has set in full force. I have not had a moment go by that tears are not right there waiting to fall. And I'm realizing that my memories, thoughts & feelings will have to be enough right now. Right now that hurts. Deeply.

But I am praying that someday I will be able to share the sentiment that Caroline Honn shares about her mother. "There is nothing more fulfilling than experiencing the transformation of suffering and loss into a profound sense of the real God in our lives. A mother's love goes far beyond this world."