For some of you, this person is me. I am the one in your life that you are trying to take care of, help and understand. While others of you, it is someone else close to you. While for some of you…..it is you. And you are to afraid, timid or prideful to ask for the help that you may need. You may need meals, babysitting, monetary support, rides, a listening ear, or just someone who ‘gets it”.
Whatever the case…..my goal is that each of us realizes that this is what life is about. Understanding ourselves and each other….and then doing something about it. We are not called to just live through the moment like robots. Circumstances change without our permission. We are robbed of our security and control very easily.
While my mom was here last month, I was able to go in for some ‘extra’ appointments. One of these was my annual pap smear (sorry guys, I’m sharing for a reasonJ ). The results came back abnormal. This in itself is not usually a bad thing. But when they started throwing around the ‘C’ word again, it all started for me again.
Panic. Fear. Loss of Control.
For a 24 hour period, I feared the very worst. I have said this before, “I hate this disease!” It robs you of so much. I had so much on my calendar for this 24 hour period. So it was ‘easier’ to just not tell anyone. Roy & I carried this uncertainty by ourselves. We pretty much turned into robot parents, going through the motions. When we saw people that night (we had a school function) we acted like nothing was up. But in all reality, we felt like the rug was ripped out from under us again. In my mind, I had myself sick, bald and going through chemo again. But this time with a worst outcome.
Long story short, I’m okay. I will be having a hysterectomy. Okay, so maybe not so short of a story….
I think it’s crazy that in the cancer world, things like a hysterectomy don’t seem as major. While in a cancer free one, it would be huge. But it is what it is.
So instead of me filling you in on the details. From the moment of the phone call all the way to the moment I was sitting in my oncologist office the next day. I want so much to educate all of you that cancer brings about life changing changes. It just never ends. It is always apart of someone’s life. It never goes away. Whether a person is able or disabled, fighting or a survivor, functioning or living…..it just is always a part of each day.
That 24 hour period was tortuous. It was full. It was sleepless. My kids still needed me to function. Appointments still needed to be attended. The phone still rang. Other peoples lives were still in motion. The world kept going.
There are some of you that are dealing with other diseases. Some of you have other things on your plate that are ‘big’ and ‘overwhelming’. Others have had the worst thing possible happen this past year….you have lost someone so dear to something so horrible. You’re dealing with the hardest….grief.
In the midst of this happening around us…..we are usually ’clueless’ to all this. Me included. We forget to not be robots. We forget to ’understand’ the person in our life that is going through all this. We forget that it never ends for them. We forget that our lives should change along with theirs.
The pain. It is sometimes physical, but a lot of the time it is deeper. People are hurting and we forget to take notice. Friends and family are struggling to make it through each moment. And we sit back and forget that their lives have been turned upside down by circumstances out of their control. Unintentionally for the most part.
God will not give you more than you can handle.
How many of you have heard this before? I have heard it more than I care for these past few years. And to be blunt with you ….AAAHHHH!!!?!!!!?!!!! We have to NOT be saying this anymore. It’s a well-meaning misinterpretation of a reassuring scripture.
“ No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” - I Corinthians 10:13
So for all of you our there…..2 things:
1) If you are someone going through something ‘big’…..maybe it is too much for you to handle. Reach out. Grab a hold of those around you. Grab a hold of Him. Don’t be timid, afraid or too prideful to ask for help.
2) For those of you that are on the flip side….the ‘big’ stuff has skipped you for now…..Reach out. Grab ON to those around you. You might be the life preserver that He wants for someone else. Don’t be afraid, timid or too prideful to offer your help.
We need one another. Life is painful. If it wasn't it would be too easy to get complacent and want to be here rather than where we were made to be....next to Him.
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