I've tried to do this. I'm not one to talk about my faith with someone who is going to be uncomfortable with it...to a degree. I have never wanted to be the one that would detour someone off the path that is pointing towards Christ. Am I afraid of witnessing? No. But I have always tried to be cautious and tactful. There are so many around me that do not have the same beliefs as me. I have always found that my relationship with them is what it's all about. Unless we can build an authentic one, religion doesn't even stand a chance to enter into any type of productive conversation.
I have been given a huge, gigantic, enormous platform. People may not want to hear about faith from others. But when someone has a personal story to tell, they relate. Others want to hear the trials that you've been through. People are quick to sympathize with reality. Real stories tend to pull at heart strings in a way that 'preaching' could never do. God uses these stories. Why is that?
Life. It's happening all around us. It's happening to each and everyone of us. Our journeys are all different though. Some of us have been given a 'harder' road to walk. We have to figure out how to carry a much bigger and heavier cross.
I'm struggling with mine. But there is joy because as I carry it, in its enormous stature, it's hard for others not to notice. People want to know how it became the size that it is. They want to hear about each step of my walk. And believe me when I say, "I'm embracing this opportunity." The road has been full of sharp turns, potholes and speed bumps. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I have come to know this is all preparation. Painful, yes. But preparation nonetheless.
It is not cruel testing from God. Some have thought this and voiced it also. I have had to remind them, along with my own heart, that it is all gentle preparation for the incredible work He is to have me do for His Kingdom. Without it, I would not have the training I would need to successfully fulfill my duties. Without it I would be blinded to what I was to supposed to be learning AND teaching.
As I have gone on my knees with tearful prayers, crying out and feeling unheard, He is answering. There have been and will continue to be times that I feel forsaken. But He is answering. Sharing my journey and teaching others of His complete love is part of my today and future. My journey has prepared for this. I am thankful for the perfection of His ways. Is all the disease and pain part of the plans that He has had for me. Truthfully, I think the enemy is working in ways that he has done since the fruit left the forbidden tree. But our God can and does use everything for His good and kingdom. If we let Him. His ways are perfection. All-knowing. Sweet. It is Love.
But yet I doubt. The details of this world take over. They try to sneak in and grab hold of the certainties that He has planted. They are disguised in the costumes of money, pain, more illness, exhaustion, and anything the enemy can transform. It's easy to forget that this world is a battle field and we are the soldiers. And even easier to forget that we can't stand on both sides.
"Put on the full armor of God
so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers,
against the authorities,
against the powers of this dark world
and against the spiritual forces of evil
in the heavenly realms."
-Ephesians 6:11-12
I've declared my stand. But yet I wander to other side. Often. The King's side is one of certainty, provision, goals and perfect destination. The side of darkness encompasses hatred, division and walking aimlessly. Why do we even bother thinking about this side? I can't believe I freely turn my back on His Majesty without even looking back, not once, but over and over. And to top it off....He welcomes me back with outstretched arms each and every time.
It's the love.
I want so much to serve my God and tell everyone of what He has done for me. Why? Simple.
He is Love.
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