Do Not Lose Heart

I found a verse that I had never really 'heard' before. What I mean is, I've read it, but I hear it in such a new way now.

"Do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." -2 Corinthians 4:16

Seriously, I think this was written for me. I DO feel like I am wasting away. I was healthy 2 years ago. Now, I don't think there is one part of my body that has not been affected by cancer (this is a whole other post in the making :)). Yet, at the same time, I know that my spiritual self is blossoming like never before.

The balance between the two....'Do not lose heart'.

A friend gave me a copy of a cartoon this week. On the flip side was part of a devotion that has spoken volumes to my heart. I have read and reread it many times.

Like the sundial, this year I am only going to count the sunny hours! I don't know where we are - I don't need to know. I just know it's all in His hands. How much safer could it be?

These words remind me that nothing touches me that has not passed through the hands of my heavenly Father - NOTHING! Whatever occurs, God has sovereignly surveyed and approved it. We may never know why, but we do know our pain is no accident to Him who guides our lives. He is in no way surprised by any of it. Before it ever touched us, it passes through Him.

In honest truth, I struggle with the fact that God COULD HAVE prevented all that has happened to me and my family. I have asked the question, "Why?", many times. But really...where does this get me? What truly matters is where I put my trust. I trust that He loves me more than I could ever comprehend. I trust that He always has wanted the very best for me. I trust that He always will. I trust that my children, husband, health, and finances are at the forefront of His concerns. I trust that I will one day understand it all. I trust that my Jesus died on that cross for me. I trust the evils that the enemy has brought my way are not a surprise to my King. I trust that He is in control of ALL things. I trust that my relationship with Him is personal and intimate. I trust that I will forever be in His arms. I trust.

In the middle of the chaos that broke out back on Dec.29th, 06, I had peace. I wasn't grasping for it. I just had it. Simply put, He had me. It wasn't about my faith, my love for God or even my trust. It was His doing. Not mine. Believe me when I say that I did not have the energy to do anything. He held me up and He held me close and tight. He enveloped my whole being with this peace. I was His child. His love for me is never changing.

Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. We are weak but He is strong.

There really IS no place safer than in His Hands.

Imagine a newborn being held. We take the utmost care with them. Wrapping them tightly. Holding them closely to our chest. Always expressing such tenderness. He does this all with us. And so much more. Imagine never being let go. He is ever holding us. Tightly. Close. Tenderly. He never looks away from us. And because His gaze never leaves, He misses nothing. Everything that comes our way is seen AND APPROVED by Him. Nothing 'just gets by' Him because He is to busy or doesn't care. He is all-knowing, omnipotent and the very essence of love.

This is not an easy concept to accept. There is limited understanding of the entirety of who God is. Do I get Him? Not at all. But I so desire to. I am comforted in just knowing that all that has 'touched' me has not come without His knowing. His approval. Most importantly, His touching, feeling and going through it all first. I am assured that He has experienced everything there is to experience. And looking at the life that my Saviour led...I Trust.

I may be 'wasting away inwardly', so to speak....but aren't we all? So many have asked how I do it. Honestly, I am weak. Oh, so very weak. But He is strong. So, so strong.

Daily, sometimes moment by moment...I choose. To trust and to not lose heart.