Hello Everyone!
I have so much to say but I don't want this to be too long. Also, I don't want to be a downer and overwhelm. But, for those of you who have been walking with me on this journey, you know I take 'educating' about ALL of it very seriously. So here goes...
Let's start by saying that it's been awhile. It's not because nothing is happening. It's more so the opposite. But I have been in such an emotional 'funk' that I've hesitated to post because I know myself enough that I realized that I'd just have an emotional tantrum for all of you to experience. So I've waited. And in the past couple of days I have found myself able to start climbing up the ladder out of the emotional pit I've been in. It's not that the circumstances surrounding us have lessoned, actually, it's quite the contrary.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19
Honestly, these 2 verses are what's helping me right now. I'm commanded, not asked, to forget things and not to dwell. How hard is this?!!! But I'm trying. And to know that He is doing something new for me...I can't wait! But I'm in this desert right now and it's tough. Thankfully, I'm promised that I'm not alone.
So as I get off my 'faith-box'...I'll attempt to fill you in on everything without it being the tantrum that I spoke of. :)
My Health:
*It's a continual struggle to get to my doctor's appts. When I go for 6 weeks in between, the worries start to set in. I was able to finally go last Friday and am happy to say that all my blood work came back great! Please pray as I juggle all that it entails to coordinate for me to go.
*The pain in my back is the same. BUT the pain in my feet has increased. I have aching, pain, numbness and burning. This is all common with neuropathy. It's so intence that I am literally not able to stand most of the time...but I have to. So lot's of tears are being shed. The first medicine helped a little but I had to discontinue it because it made me so loopy. (Which is a very rare side effect...only me:)) I just started a different kind. I'll let you know how it goes. Any prayers in this area are always appreciated. Any moment I feel 'good' I always attribute it to your faithful prayers on my behalf.:)
*I'm having to be in the sun quite a bit lately and this is not good being on the type of medicine that I am. There are a few side effects that have appeared because of this. I'm here and I don't take it for granted. But please pray that any new symptoms attempting to arise will just go away.:)
*The pharmacy end of our insurance has changed. With this has brought about an unexpected turn in drug coverage for my main chemo med. It used to be covered 100%...not so anymore. We are now looking at having to come up with 20% every 3 weeks. This amounts to $850. Seriously, who can afford this?!!! Please pray as we try and sort this one out.
Other Stuff:
*All summer we have been trying to come up with the moneys for Tala to be back at her same school. Without going into all the details, I just want to say that we just couldn't do it. The Friday before she was supposed to start, I broke the news to her. Lots of tears...from both of us. Remember, this school & church have been a strong backbone for our family through all the trials. It was going to be hard not to be at GCA. WELL...have we all forgotten how God is in the business of miracles?!!! We were, knock us to the ground, reminded.:) The night before I received a call that the money was taken care of and Tala would be starting school the next morning. (I just want to say ...it was a substantial amount for those of you wondering.) We still don't know if it was 1 person or many...we just know that they felt led to help our family...without being asked. We are so blessed!
*I've already mentioned that we are down a vehicle. Right now this is causing a 'triangle' of sorts for me. And all 3 sides don't point to a feasible solution. 1) It's just not in the cards for us to get another vehicle any time soon. 2) I'm walking Torryn to school and walk to Tala's to give her a shot at lunch time almost daily. We are out @3 hours daily in the desert heat...just too much for all of us. &3) I am, technically, supposed to give Tala her shot off campus. But a stroller doesn't give the 'privacy' she would like.:) Therefore, I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. This truly is an area of frustration for us because of so many reason. Please pray for a solution to present itself soon. And if not...please pray for my endurance, especially going up those hills. :)
*(Please note: I broach this next subject with only 'educating' in mind...but I do recognize that it can be an uncomfortable subject for all.)
Money. It truly 'sucks'. I really am okay with not having enough. But I do hate that we are in the position now of being 'one of those families.' You know the ones...buried by medical bills. That's us in the here and now. So please pray. Not for cash...but more so for peace to deal with all of this.
*Roy continues to have work. We are so thankful. But I do sit and watch him live on 3-4 hours of sleep daily with no days off and I worry. He has lost over 30 lbs and there's nothing I can do to change it for him to be healthier. Continued prayers all around for him would be awesome...you know, stamina, eating, driving, etc.
I won't lie. Life is hard right now. I've only skimmed the surface of what's happening as consequeces from this awful disease. I actually hate the word 'cancer' more than 'money'. :) It does seem that all I ever 'bring to the table' now a days is the negative. But truly, I couldn't do this without all your wonderful support. Words truly are a gift. I am so encouraged by all the GB entry's, emails, calls & letters. I read everything so many times. Without you all, I fear I would lose my mind. I often times feel like I'm slipping down in quicksand and you are the vine that's pulling me out. Thank you for walking along side me during this 'drought' I seem to be in.. You are all blessings!
Love, Shannon
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perseive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:18-19
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