Barbara

My friend Barbara and I are connected. We have so much in common. And the majority is in relation to Breast Cancer. We were both pregnant when diagnosed. Our journey's began within a month of each other. We have never actually met face to face. Friends of mine were neighbors with her in-laws years ago. And through the technology of the internet....we were connected. And a beautiful and unique friendship has been an encouragement to me on so many levels.

It seems like she keeps getting hit over and over again by the enemy. She is so special. No wonder. But the same God who is holding me is holding her. I do get discouraged every time I hear more 'bad news' has fallen on her. I cry. I feel physically ill. I hate this disease on a personal level. And where Barbara's concerned...it's personal. I feel helpless. What is there for me to do to help her. I think of everything that others have done and continue to do for me/us. Not one thing ever goes unnoticed. Everything means something. Truthfully though, it's the encouragement and the love & prayers that absolutely mean the world. So this is what I shall do.

One day I hope to meet her face to face. I desire to be able to 'just be' with her. My connection to her is one I have with no one else. She understands all the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual that goes hand in hand with this journey. Not many words are needed to 'explain' an experience or feeling. I am blessed that I have her to share this all with. And the funny thing is, our communication has not been a tremendous amount....it doesn't have to be. I know she's here. She knows the same.

So why so much about her? Well the tumors have grown. They've multiplied. She has peace. I understand this from the position of someone who has been given this same type of peace. God graciously blesses us with it. BUT, my human, weak heart is hurting. Where is my peace right now? She is blessing me with just being her. Is this what I have done for others? It's all kind of surreal. I feel 'removed' from myself and 'all' people have said/felt about me. But I'm beginning to understand a little more....1-it truly is a God thing. Only He can make us this strong and at peace in situations like thus. and 2-People DO feel drawn to people who have thus peace...even those who claim no believe. I feel drawn to Barbara. I think and pray for her throughout my days. Why does she come to mind so often? Is it the cancer? Is it the 'bad news' she just got? Yes to both. But more so, it's the peace. It radiates even though it's been days since I spoke to her.

Walking the road of cancer truly does suck. I know it has to for her too. So I ask that you pray for Barbara. Please pray that God will continue to work in her. Giving her the peace that only comes from Him. Her days are different than normal. She has to have others helping her. Please pray that He continues to supply all the help she needs. Please pray for healing. That, although medically it may look 'bad', she will continue to rely on the fact that our God is bigger than all of it. And more capable than any doctor, medication or treatment. Please be praying as she starts a new radiation regimen. That it will 'do the trick' as far as the tumors are concerned. And that she will have minimal to no side effects. And please pray for her heart. Simply that He will consume every corner of it. That the enemy will have no say in what goes on there.

Barbara, I love you girl! As I talked with you the other day I realized something...you are one of few that holds the title 'hero' in my life. I am so grateful for our friendship. It's precious in a very special sort of way. I'm so glad that we have gotten to walk this journey at the same time. It's made it less lonely. :) One day we will actually get to sit and just enjoy getting to know one another outside our cancer 'selves'. I can't wait.