Visiting with Barbara

was, by far, one of the sweetest times in my life.

There wasn't anything extra special about what we did. Just talk. We got to ask questions and get to know one another. It was a surreal moment for me. Maybe for her too. You see, we have been in contact for almost 2 years. Pretty much right after we were both diagnosed...we were introduced. But this was different. She wasn't just a cyberspace friend anymore. She was real. All of it was real. This horrible, horrible disease was/is real. And it is the reason for our friendship. Oh, I do hate cancer. But without it I would never have had the chance for a unique and special friendship with an amazing woman.

Barbara is sick right now. The enemy is trying his darnedest to get the best of her. Thankfully, she holds tight to the true and mighty God. As she goes through radiation everyday, it has to be so wearisome. But yet she smiles. Taking chemo orally from home is something I never had to do. Opening the bottle and placing that pill in her mouth...willing herself to get better each time. And she smiles. Discussing the options that are on the table. Tumors shrinking is the options of choice. While knowing that new growth is a possibility. Yet, still she smiles. I stand in awe of the stamina she has put forth fighting this battle. As I walked into her home to find her looking the part of a sick person. Her hair is short and has grown back sort with some patch work. You can tell her vision is out of sorts. And it is apparent that she has limited use of her right side. But yet.....she smiled.

She is a special lady that the enemy sees fit to attack. He, too, knows the power she holds in her heart. A God bigger than it all. He is bigger than the disease that is attacking her body. He is bigger than the side effects that threaten her spirit. He is bigger than the details that need to fall into place. He is bigger than her doubts, my doubts and yours. He is bigger than the uncertainties that loom overhead when decisions need to be made within a situation that seems hopeless. He is bigger. He is hope. He is.

Needless to say, I was so happy to be able to sit and visit with someone I feel such a kindred spirit with along this journey. At this time in her life, I only wish I could offer her more than I can. If only we lived closer I could help out with the many needs that are so visible within their situation. But I don't. When driving away I felt a frustration about the whole situation. I asked God...why her? Why not me? The answer I got and continue to receive is, "Because".

Because you are different from one another. Everything about you and all that surrounds you is different. Because my plan is perfect for each of you. Because I need your journeys to be different to fit together within my story.

I know what this disease is capable of. It's horrid and ruthless. But I, like Barbara, choose to believe and hope that she will be alive on the other side of this. For our God is a God in the business of miracles. Amazing miracles. Healing miracles. I wait anxiously to see His mighty hand do an incredible thing within Barbara's life.

For now, I pray, and live thankfully for a sweet time with a dear friend.