update 1/23/07

To my family & friends,

A few of you already know most of what I am about to share. But there are some that have not heard the news of how the Pinkard household has been changed in the past three weeks.

On Friday Dec. 29th I received a phone call from my doctor with the diagnosis of having Breast Cancer. From that moment on my world has been full of excitement. By PM that afternoon I had an amnio done to see if the baby was ready to be delivered (he would be 4 weeks early.) And at 11 PM that evening we received the call from my OB to say we would be having a baby at 11am the next morning. Needless to say, Roy and I were trying to absorb it all while trying to spend some time with Tala & Torryn before we were off for a 4 day trip in the hospital.

At 12:18pm Dec30th our baby boy was born healthy.
Takai Abraham Makanakamanaolana Pinkard
5lbs 8 ounces 17 1/2 inches

He did need oxygen assistance for about 3 hours and needed antibiotics for 3 days....therefore he was in the NECU while we were in the hospital. The few days we were there were with mixed emotions. As you can imagine, we were overjoyed with the baby. But we were trying to digest the fact of my disease.

We are thankful that we were picked by God to witness just the first of His gracious miracles. In the operating room while my doctor was cutting to where my uterus should have been...she discovered that I had already ruptured. And staring back at a room of about 15 people (including Roy) through my water bag was our little boy. This was not a normal thing. No one in the room had ever seen anything like this. Takai became known as the "miracle baby" throughout the labor & delivery, maternity and Necu.

Everyone was amazed that we had survived thus far. My doctor explained that the rupture was quite large and that all the baby had to do was move and poke through my water bag and he would have had no chance and my chances would have been 10% lying on an operating table....so basically at that moment, we were able to say that so far cancer had saved our lives.

Wednesday morning I was able to get a CAT scan done while there. (We are very thankful that my OB is a wonderful lady who was ready to help my specialist in any way...and she is a good friend too.) At 12pm I got a call from my OB with the results. It confirmed our worst fears. The cancer had already to spread to other parts of my body. I have 2 tumors in my breast. One very large one along with a smaller one. It has also spread to my spine, liver, spleen, lymph nodes and I have a little fluid in my lungs.

There is really no way to explain what we were going through at that moment. Complete shock!

But our God is good and He continued to send us little reminders that He really was in control even though life felt otherwise.

Friday - diagnosis
Saturday - Baby
Wednesday - CAT scan results and home
Thursday brought me into my oncologist office and I began Chemo.

They start with chemo for my type of cancer because we hope it will bring some of the swelling down with the cancer and also because I am already at stage IV. Which means the cancer is very aggressive so they need to be aggressive in the type of treatment I receive. Since then I am thankful to be able to say that I did not get very sick. I was very tired and had a lot of aches and pains (bone pains are common from the chemo.) Nausea came very little and they give lots of medicine. We are continually praying that each treatment will be like the first, although it is all cumulative...so it could get worse each time. My hope is that it is all bearable for the kids sake.

As you can imagine life has changed dramatically for all of us. I am so thankful that my Mom has been here the entire time taking care of all of us. Roy was finally able to go back to work this week...but always worrying about us at home. The kids are definitely feeling the change of not having Mommy at her best. Please keep us all in your prayers as this is going to be a long journey.

During this time I have had so many blessings come my way through so many people. Monetary donations, dinners, diapers, formula, Gatorade, gift baskets, etc, etc. Some of you have bent over backwards to show your love and support for my family. Some of you are family and friends, but others are new to my life. It has already been so unbelievable to experience the outpouring of love and support from so many. A garage sale was held in honor of the "Pinkards" and we were humbled by the amount raised. Along with that are so many other actions that have touched my heart. Thank you to all who have given to my family in one way or another.

This is a learning process for all of us. We have been told that the first 2 weeks after a treatment will be when I am weakest. And the 3rd week I should be feeling better. It is my goal to be able to personally send out an email to touch base with all of you during that 3rd week. My friend LeeAnn will be doing all other email updates for me. Her address is coffeemama@cox.net. Please note this so you don't erase her messages.

I will be getting my 2nd treatment this Thursday. When I'm feeling sick and not up to doing a whole lot, my phone calls are being screened....but please feel free to try anyways. Even if I don't have the chance to talk, it is always nice to know that you called. And please know that you are not bothering me during this time. We are trying to be very careful with my health. Therefore, I am not having visitors (to keep out germs) and I am only going to doctor's appointments. So calls, letters and emails are very welcome.

Again, please remember my friend LeeAnn. She has been one of those blessings I mentioned. She will be glad to answer any questions you may have or relay any message. What we need most from everyone is to continually hold me and my family up in prayer. Already God has blessed us so much through this experience. But daily we need His strength to make it through to the next.

I am thankful for each of you.
Shannon

Pictures of our Miracle

Takai Abraham Makanakamanaolana Pinkard

To Breathe

My girls are here. I'm able to breathe just to have them with me. I realize God presents himself in many 'shapes & forms'. I am forever grateful for molding Himself in a comforting and tangible way during these first few days.

They are His hands, His hugs, His words, His comfort, His joy, His laughter, His peace.

I can see Him because of them. I am able to breathe.

My First Scans

January 3rd, 2007. I'm still in the hospital and Dr. T offered to do the scans to get things rolling. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have to absorb such results.

The cancer has spread. Spleen, spine, kidneys, liver & lungs. Roy and I are in a state of shock. The only thing of certainty that I have is GOD. I look at my family & friends all around me and I know that time and this disease can take them from me....or should I say...me from them. Deep, deep in my soul, I know this. By medical standards I know this is a 'death sentence'.

I see only 2 choices. Hope or give up.

I choose hope.

Hope in my Heavenly Father. Hope for all the things He has promised me. Hope for all I have claimed to believe.

I CHOOSE HOPE!!!