Have you ever wondered how others are able to 'see' God so clearly? Simple. You have to make the effort. Take the time to go to Him and lay things at His feet.
We only 'grow' our relationships with anyone by making effort. Calling, spending together, leaning on one another, etc are the ways we allow friendships to blossom. As with a parent and a child, we must ask our Daddy for help. I think most of us desire to 'grow' in our relationship with God. But this can only happen if we make conscious efforts to come to Him and lay it all at His feet. Asking Him for help. Telling Him our troubles. Waiting for Him to help us through things. And trusting Him with doing what's right on our behalf.
It's easy in any relationship to reconsider and reassess even after we reach out to someone. And when we deal with God, someone we can't actually see, it becomes very easy to take it back into our own hands. But if we can leave it all with Him and give Him our heart of trust, we can become conscious of His Presence.
I am finding that as I lay things at His feet, I not only 'see' Him, but I am able to be in His Presence more and more. I am able to know that my relationship with Him is blossoming. It's hard. So my prayer is always that I am able to fling it all at His feet.
One needs to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are the hottest as to burn away all the impurities. His eyes never leave the precious metal and knows it is refined & finished when He can see His own image in it....May He see His image in me.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Update 5/29/08
Hello Everyone
I don't have much to report on the medical side of things. My mom has been here for the past 2 weeks so I have been able to go to my 'scheduled' appointments along with some add ons. Right now the only thing I would ask that you pray for is that I would NOT need a new port in. The last two times I have gone in for treatment it has been a real struggle for them to get my IV going. (I think I have mentioned before that I am a very hard stick...have terrible veins.) I really don't want to go through the port thing again since I had so much trouble with blood clots the first time around.
There are a few things I wanted to address that have come up with a few people in the past month or so.
There have been a few comments, by well meaning friends, that my life is too overwhelming for them, thus they have pulled back from being involved and helping. To this I say, "I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I'm sorry that it has come to this for you personally." And for those of you who are helping us in our day to day life.....AND don't feel comfortable taking a step back in caution of hurting our feelings....please do what you need to do to help yourselves. I do know that my life is crazy, full and chaotic. But it is mine to go forward with. I embrace all the help I can get. BUT would never, ever want to become a burden. The help we receive is never taken for granted and is always a blessing. Being the giver of help should also be blessed along the way.
So simply put....if helping us is a burden, please take the step back that you need to and if it continues to bless you to help us...then we are blessed to have you be a part of our lives.
This leads me to the next thing I want to talk about.
This journey that I have been on is going on the 2 year mark. There have been many lessons along the way. One that has been somewhat hard on the heart is the coming and going of friends & family.
We all go through seasons in our lives. We all have people come and go. But I have had a chance to see what disease, fear, blessings, miracles, God, schedules,etc can bring out in people. The extremes in life tend to bring out the best and the worst during these times.
I have watched as close friends & family decided, consiously & unconsiously, to walk away from us in the very beginning. Our life held too much of the unexpected in the face of fear and death. While at the same time, we were graced with unbelievable gifts in the form of new friends. They entered our lives with the soul purpose to be here to aid us in any way we needed.
As we started coming to the point of looking past the grim and seeing a future that held some brightness....some came back, not afraid anymore. And there are others that walked away when the 'crisis' part ended. Their 'job' was done and they went out to help others. And let's not forget the ones that simply appeared from the past. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to rebuild friendships with good friends from long ago.
There is complexity to relationships. Life brings fear and joy that entertwine with these relationships. It doesn't matter if your life is calm or full of storms. Relationships are crucial to how you walk through each moment. I will be forever grateful for the depth that some of my relationships have gone to because of this journey. (One of the blessings that have come in the midst of my storms.:)
You all know that I stand firm within the realms of my relationship with God. But how thankful I am that He has seen fit to bless me with so many of you throughout this journey. There are so many of you that I have never met. But yet, we carry a closeness within our hearts because of the bond we have built. Then there are those of you that we started as friends and grown into something that almost needs a 'new' word to discribe what we have now. There's also all my new friends, my family that has given everything and mean everything to me and complete strangers that grace me once or twice with their presence just for a moment of blessings.
Relationships. Take time to think about the ones you have been blessed with. Invest. Whether big or small. Be intentional about them. Your spouse, kids, family & friends, neighbors, one time aquintances and even strangers. Be intentional.
As stated, my life is full and chaotic. I hate that along the way, time gets away from me as I try to do everything that needs to be done. With this I tend to loss sit of being intentional with each person along the way. So right now I am taking the blessing of this CaringBridge site to be intentional....
There is a place that I can go to see who reads my updates. I do it about once a week. Why? Because I want to be intentional with all of you. The investment you are making into my life just be 'being here' for me is irreplaceable. The only way I can reciprocate with most of you is to pray for you. Thus, the reason for looking at my list. I want to be intentional in my investment in your lives.
Thank you for ALL & EVERYTHING you each do for me.
with gratitude, Shannon
I don't have much to report on the medical side of things. My mom has been here for the past 2 weeks so I have been able to go to my 'scheduled' appointments along with some add ons. Right now the only thing I would ask that you pray for is that I would NOT need a new port in. The last two times I have gone in for treatment it has been a real struggle for them to get my IV going. (I think I have mentioned before that I am a very hard stick...have terrible veins.) I really don't want to go through the port thing again since I had so much trouble with blood clots the first time around.
There are a few things I wanted to address that have come up with a few people in the past month or so.
There have been a few comments, by well meaning friends, that my life is too overwhelming for them, thus they have pulled back from being involved and helping. To this I say, "I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I'm sorry that it has come to this for you personally." And for those of you who are helping us in our day to day life.....AND don't feel comfortable taking a step back in caution of hurting our feelings....please do what you need to do to help yourselves. I do know that my life is crazy, full and chaotic. But it is mine to go forward with. I embrace all the help I can get. BUT would never, ever want to become a burden. The help we receive is never taken for granted and is always a blessing. Being the giver of help should also be blessed along the way.
So simply put....if helping us is a burden, please take the step back that you need to and if it continues to bless you to help us...then we are blessed to have you be a part of our lives.
This leads me to the next thing I want to talk about.
This journey that I have been on is going on the 2 year mark. There have been many lessons along the way. One that has been somewhat hard on the heart is the coming and going of friends & family.
We all go through seasons in our lives. We all have people come and go. But I have had a chance to see what disease, fear, blessings, miracles, God, schedules,etc can bring out in people. The extremes in life tend to bring out the best and the worst during these times.
I have watched as close friends & family decided, consiously & unconsiously, to walk away from us in the very beginning. Our life held too much of the unexpected in the face of fear and death. While at the same time, we were graced with unbelievable gifts in the form of new friends. They entered our lives with the soul purpose to be here to aid us in any way we needed.
As we started coming to the point of looking past the grim and seeing a future that held some brightness....some came back, not afraid anymore. And there are others that walked away when the 'crisis' part ended. Their 'job' was done and they went out to help others. And let's not forget the ones that simply appeared from the past. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to rebuild friendships with good friends from long ago.
There is complexity to relationships. Life brings fear and joy that entertwine with these relationships. It doesn't matter if your life is calm or full of storms. Relationships are crucial to how you walk through each moment. I will be forever grateful for the depth that some of my relationships have gone to because of this journey. (One of the blessings that have come in the midst of my storms.:)
You all know that I stand firm within the realms of my relationship with God. But how thankful I am that He has seen fit to bless me with so many of you throughout this journey. There are so many of you that I have never met. But yet, we carry a closeness within our hearts because of the bond we have built. Then there are those of you that we started as friends and grown into something that almost needs a 'new' word to discribe what we have now. There's also all my new friends, my family that has given everything and mean everything to me and complete strangers that grace me once or twice with their presence just for a moment of blessings.
Relationships. Take time to think about the ones you have been blessed with. Invest. Whether big or small. Be intentional about them. Your spouse, kids, family & friends, neighbors, one time aquintances and even strangers. Be intentional.
As stated, my life is full and chaotic. I hate that along the way, time gets away from me as I try to do everything that needs to be done. With this I tend to loss sit of being intentional with each person along the way. So right now I am taking the blessing of this CaringBridge site to be intentional....
There is a place that I can go to see who reads my updates. I do it about once a week. Why? Because I want to be intentional with all of you. The investment you are making into my life just be 'being here' for me is irreplaceable. The only way I can reciprocate with most of you is to pray for you. Thus, the reason for looking at my list. I want to be intentional in my investment in your lives.
Thank you for ALL & EVERYTHING you each do for me.
with gratitude, Shannon
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Advocating
I am so excited. Tomorrow night is the Relay for Life here in Boulder City. It will be the first one that I have been able to attend. There will be a special time to recognize all the survivors. And I will be going with LeeAnn.
I have recognized through my entire journey that God simply wants me to recognize Him. Cancer has just been an avenue to get my attention. (Don't get me wrong...it's an awful disease brought on by the enemy...but God CAN use any situation.). I have been witness to more pain, suffering, diseases and death in the past 2 years than I can sometimes swallow.
There are so many causes that are worthy of our time, effort, research and money. Breast cancer is taking mothers from their children, wifes from their husbands, daughters from their parents. Cancer in itself just robs so many of someone they love and cherish. Many forms of cancer are taking children from their mommys & daddys. Robing their families of seeing them grow up. Trisomy 18 & Krabbes Disease are just two of the heart wrenching that I have watched dear friends loss their babies this past year.
Do I plan to become an advocate? Yes! Not so much for ONLY Breast Cancer...but for anything that needs to have a shield put between the enemy and his awful ways. Some days, I am an advocate for nothing less than growing my children in the way He would want. Other days, I am granted a chance to tell someone(s) of my journey and bring glory to Him. While other days provide me with an opportunity to walk around a track and take a stand in front of the 'world'.
So I challenge each of you. Become an advocate. Let Him guide you. It may be one thing...or like me, it may be a mixture of things. But when you do...with it comes the wonderful emotions of excitement, joy and peace. Don't just live each day going through the motions. Embrace each moment to the fullest with purpose and cause. And with that you know He is pleased.
I have recognized through my entire journey that God simply wants me to recognize Him. Cancer has just been an avenue to get my attention. (Don't get me wrong...it's an awful disease brought on by the enemy...but God CAN use any situation.). I have been witness to more pain, suffering, diseases and death in the past 2 years than I can sometimes swallow.
There are so many causes that are worthy of our time, effort, research and money. Breast cancer is taking mothers from their children, wifes from their husbands, daughters from their parents. Cancer in itself just robs so many of someone they love and cherish. Many forms of cancer are taking children from their mommys & daddys. Robing their families of seeing them grow up. Trisomy 18 & Krabbes Disease are just two of the heart wrenching that I have watched dear friends loss their babies this past year.
Do I plan to become an advocate? Yes! Not so much for ONLY Breast Cancer...but for anything that needs to have a shield put between the enemy and his awful ways. Some days, I am an advocate for nothing less than growing my children in the way He would want. Other days, I am granted a chance to tell someone(s) of my journey and bring glory to Him. While other days provide me with an opportunity to walk around a track and take a stand in front of the 'world'.
So I challenge each of you. Become an advocate. Let Him guide you. It may be one thing...or like me, it may be a mixture of things. But when you do...with it comes the wonderful emotions of excitement, joy and peace. Don't just live each day going through the motions. Embrace each moment to the fullest with purpose and cause. And with that you know He is pleased.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Control
Oh, how I was blessed on Tuesday. The opportunity arose for me to speak at a mom's bible study. Sharing my journey is always a joy for me. But to do it on a larger scale just about put me over the edge. In a good way :)
I was excited from day one of being asked. Was this from God? Preparing what I would be saying was such a joy. Was this from God? Praying over it all was not encompassed with stress. Was this from God? Getting all the kids ready for school went off without a hitch (not normal for us). Was this from God? I felt comfortable from the moment I got to the church. Was this from God? As I walked to the stage I felt more peace than nerves. Was this from God? As I shared, I say woman mirror my emotions. Was this from God? I was told that it was amazing. Was this from God? I spent my day on a 'high'. Was this from God?
Without a doubt....it is ALL from Him. Only He was glorified that morning. The enemy was not allowed there. He went before me and prepare the way.
I was excited from day one of being asked. Was this from God? Preparing what I would be saying was such a joy. Was this from God? Praying over it all was not encompassed with stress. Was this from God? Getting all the kids ready for school went off without a hitch (not normal for us). Was this from God? I felt comfortable from the moment I got to the church. Was this from God? As I walked to the stage I felt more peace than nerves. Was this from God? As I shared, I say woman mirror my emotions. Was this from God? I was told that it was amazing. Was this from God? I spent my day on a 'high'. Was this from God?
Without a doubt....it is ALL from Him. Only He was glorified that morning. The enemy was not allowed there. He went before me and prepare the way.
"I lead you. The way is clear.
Go forward unafraid. I am beside you.
Listen, listen, listen to My Voice.
My Hand is controlling all."
This was the beginning of my devotion today. Wow!
He leads! As long as I follow Him nothing will cloud it. I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future...and He's right here beside me. It's all about giving Him the reigns completely. He IS controlling ALL!
I've been reflecting and praying about 'speaking'. Sharing my journey is telling a part of His Story. My heart desires so much to glorify Him. I will continue to share my journey. Whether to one person or a room full. I will embrace any opportunity that presents itself to tell of His goodness. It truly is His Story.
Lord,k continue to keep me humble and just a piece of the bigger puzzle that you are putting together. I am only a color in the beautiful rainbow you are painting for all to see. You are all that matters.
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