"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
This is an update of reflection.
One year ago today I received the 'news'....I had cancer.
How does one deal with that. It was very surreal at the time and even so now. I can't even believe where I have been in the past 365 days. But yet these days have changed me more than any others in my lifetime. They have, by far, been the hardest but the best.
My body went form healthy to very sick to healed. I have watched, helplessly, as my children were out of my 'helping' hands and could have died. I have a whole new understanding of pain and what it feels like to go through it over and over again. I know what it means to have no control. Being at the 'mercy' of others 24/7 has taken on new meaning to me. I have become reunited with friends & family of my past. Strangers have become a vital part of my everyday life now....as new friends. The blessings go far beyond what my mind can even fathom. I have seen miracle upon miracle upon miracle. My family is all intact because of these miracles. And my body is doing great compared to where it could be. But most importantly, my heart.
It's taken this year and ALL its experiences to make my heart whole. How can one not walk away from all this a different person? How could I walk this path and not be changed?
Impossible
God truly does use everything to teach us if we let Him. I have been thinking all day about the lessons of this year. And WOW!! It's mind boggling how much He has jam packed into my year. At times I am overwhelmed when I think about everything. I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. A year ago I faced the words 'death' & 'dying' in a whole new way. They were a part of me. And through that time in my life, He taught me what it living was truly about. When one has to actually reach out and 'hold' dying along side living, it becomes a choice. And not in the way one might think. It's not about choosing one or the other....it's about choosing to grab ahold of His Hand and walk the path along side of Him...no matter where it may end.
How thankful I am that for now He has healed me and given me the chance to partner with Roy to love & raise our children. No mother could ask for anything more.
But more importantly....I want to continue to hold His Hand.
My love to each of you, Shannon
