Hello to All
I have learned to accept that this time in my life is all about the unexpected. I don't think I am supposed to get too comfortable in any circumstance or moment.
My surgery is, for the moment, on hold. I was going to the doctor every 3 or 4 days to get my blood work done. In the beginning I was way too thin. Now I cannot seem to get passed being to 'thick'...where I will clot too much. How can this be? Well, remember, I was giving my shots right before I was getting tested. Which means that the drugs in the shots were doing the job. But the one I am taking orally now is not. I seem to be pretty resistant. The plan was to wait it out until I see my doctor on the 27th.......get things under control with my clot.....and then schedule surgery.
Things are a little different now.
Thursday started out rough for me. It was the day the my mom had to go back home to Hawaii. And right before she left, I got a call from my doc with the results from the MRI of the Brain....which I took on Tuesday. Unfortunately, there is a small area of cancer (smaller than a dime) on the right side. I don't know much more than that on the technical side of it. I will be meeting with a new doc on Thursday to have her explain more to me. What I do know is
this.....
My oncologist repeatedly told me not to look at this as a set back or to be worried about this. He feels this was probably there from the beginning...as the brain seems to have an 'umbrella' over it and chemo doesn't reach it. He wants me to go in for a procedure called a Gamma Knife. It is radiation that will help to ride me of this cancerous area. I'm still asking questions and learning right now as to all the details of this whole thing.
I went on Friday for my 2nd Herceptin treatment. It went so well. I had no reactions and was not tired like I have been from the Benedryl they give....so I was able to come home and have energy to enjoy the kids. I also talked with my doctor again and he wants to probable take out the port on my arm, which will help get rid of the blood clot once and for all. He is saying we will do this since I will have to stop the blood thinning medicine in order to do the Gamma Knife anyway, along with the slow progress I am making with the medicine and the fact that they have such a hard time accessing my port.
So I am looking at the next 2 weeks holding these 2 procedures, removing my port & the Gamma Knife. I will also be going in for an MRI of the Breast on Friday. (As long as this one comes back clear there is no need to rush my surgery.) I am thankful that I have some friends coming in from out of town to visit....little did they know that they would get to be apart of all the excitement:)
Please continue to pray for me and my family. We are adjusting to being a family of 5 again. Although we are enjoying that aspect of it, having my mom here for so long seems to have us longing for her. She did such a great job of taking care of all of us. The kids are missing her and cannot wait for her to come back. And Roy & I REALLY think of her in the middle of the night....she was soooo good at getting up with the baby:) Now we're playing solo and feeling the repercussions of being so spoiled:)
Please pray specifically for just the normal day to day. As I mentioned before, I am in constant pain. And my biggest concern is my children......I want their days to be as normal as possible. They've had to go out of their comfort zones a whole lot in these past few months....and they are still trooping along. Pray that the pain I have will just become a norm for me, something I can function with so life can be enjoyable for them.
And very quickly I wanted to clarify something, as many have questioned me and my decision for surgery. Some think that having this surgery is a choice...for me it is pretty much a closed subject. Yes, I truly believe that I was healed of the cancer. But medically it has been explained that the surgery is a precautionary measure for the doctors to check out what could still be hiding inside of me, along with enabling me to knock down the chances of it returning by a considerable percentage. If it's gonna come back, it will most likely start out in the area that originated. Why is it a closed subject for me?...simple....I have five reasons--Roy, Tylor, Tala, Torryn & Takai.
I will not lie to you, the news this week did hit my like a ton of bricks. But after having some time to think and pray over this and everything else involved, it seems as if I needed all this to lift my spirits and remind me who really is in control. Continue to pray...but know that I am very encouraged by His unfailing grace for my life and comforted that He does hold me tenderly in His hands....I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
" So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIS UNFOLDING GRACE. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message (MSG)
Love, Shannon
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